The World According to the News Headlines – Bizarre But Funny

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News headlines are a large thing everywhere in the international. The way a headline is placed up can make or smash the medium it comes via. Nevertheless, it is something all of us rely on to preserve up with the happenings in the world.

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It’s a mad, mad, mad international, and you may examine ALL about it within the information. Here are some actual news headlines, in which, let’s assume, the journalists outdid themselves.

1. Queen Mary having bottom scraped
2. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
3. Squad enables canine chunk sufferer
4. Disney Stories Are Unfair On Mad People Says Doctor
5. Turkey Votes for Christmas
6. Panda mating fails – veterinarian takes over
7. Vegetables Start Talking To Professor
8. Race Cyclists Caught Speeding
nine. “Weirdos” Will Visit Cornwall
10. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
eleven. Whatever Their Motives, Moms Who Kill Kids Still Shock Us
12. Did Parrots Coexist With Dinosaurs?
Thirteen. Tortoises Held Hostage As Lobster War Turns Nasty
14. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15. Woman From Mars Says Nothing
16. Diaper Market Bottoms Out
17. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
18. Prostitutes attraction to Pope
19. Two One-Legged Inmates Skip Jail
20. Steals Clock, Faces Time
21. Water Missing In The Middle Of The Sea
22. There Can Be No Excuse For Drinking While Under The Influence Of Alcohol
23. Virgins Are Discovered In Essex
24. We Think Rain Caused The Floods, Says Thames Water
25. Lawmen from Mexico barbeque guests
26. Researchers Can See Thoughts
28. Whale Flatulence Stuns Scientists
29. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
30. U.S. Diplomat Expelled from Cuban Dog Club, Dog Stays
31. Van In Pork Pie Ambush
32. Divorce Is Like A Lonely Gerbil
33. War Dims Hope for Peace
34. Quarter Of A Million Chinese Live On Water
35. VW Beetle Starts up After Being Buried for 10 Years
36. Woman Accused Of Giving Bears Ice Cream
37. Police Sing For Animals
38. Tuna Biting Off Washington Coast
39. Right To Die Advocate Found Dead
40. Would She Climb To The Top Of Mr. Everest Again? Absolutely!
Forty one. Caribbean Bananas Are Ethical Bananas –UK Minister
forty two. Tax Mooted For Flatulent Cows
forty three. Under Pressure at Work? Get a Life
44. Chinese Apeman Dated
45. Rhode Island to Honor Mr. Potato Head
forty six. Cocaine Use Hits New High
forty seven. Rattle To Lead Berlin Philharmonic
forty eight. Tarzan’s Loincloth Hid A Big Swinger
forty nine. Portable Toilet Bombed Police Have Nothing To Go On
50. Magician’s Car Vanishes
fifty one. Thomas the Tank Engine Discovered Driving Taxi
fifty two. For Valentine’s Day, Try to Plan Your Spontaneity
53. Unconscious Can ‘Think’ But Not About Popcorn
fifty four. Traffic Dead Rise Slowly
fifty five. Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Mann
fifty six. Floods Only Bring More Tears
57. Chocolate Biscuit Bites Man In Midnight Snack Attack
58. Few Britons Feel Death Had Lasting Effect On Them
59. Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables
60. Pit Bulls Love You, Really
61. Fiji Village to Apologize for Eating English Missionary
sixty two. We’ve Rescued A Deer (We Found It In A Tree)
sixty three. Flying Bishop Pursued
64. Belgian Man Saves Fish with Kiss of Life
sixty five. Man Eating Piranha Mistakenly Sold As Pet Fish
66. Court Would Not Accept God Paid For TV License
sixty seven. Top Terror Fugitive Hid from Police on Nudist Beach
sixty eight. Jury Clears Cow in Car Accident
69. Italian Plane Passengers See Flames, Vote to Land
70. Janet Jackson Has Another, Um, Single Out
71. Three Wise Men Refused Visas By Saudi Arabia
72. Celibacy Could Make Priests Extinct
73. Lesbian Cow Study Udderly Serious
seventy four. Man Fined For Quacking
seventy five. Fine Young Man Convicted Of Misdemeanor
seventy six. Llama Drama Ding-Dong
seventy seven. Cattleman Grilled via Oprah’s Lawyers
seventy eight. You Can’t Buy Love, but Euro Brings Cheaper Sex
79. Expert: Ignorance May Worsen Situation
eighty. Zoo Rescues Tom Thumb
eighty one. Save My Life And I’ll Sue You, Warned Suicide Note
eighty two. Humpty Dumpty Wins Award For Balance
eighty three. India’s Nuclear Yeti
84. Great White Shark Battered To Death By Holidaymakers
85. It’s Always Best To Avoid Killer Bee Hives
86. National Slacker Day May Be Too Much Effort
87. School Says Boy in Drag Can’t Be Queen
88. Mrs. Corson’s Seat Up For Grabs
89. Nine Yard Men Turn Supergrass
ninety. Young Encouraged to Worship Bodies, Not Brains
ninety-one. Spaniard Hits Girlfriend at Anti-Violence Rally
ninety-two. Phantom Bus Didn’t Show
ninety-three. Stephen King Impersonator Steals five,000 Lobsters
ninety-four. Bring Back The Bongs, Say MPs
ninety-five. Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
96. Family Frantic As Mother Is Stolen
ninety-seven. 20-Year Friendship Ends At Altar
ninety-eight. Oprah, Madonna Talk Marriage
99. Officer Convicted Of Accepting Bride
a hundred. Nanny Calm As Troops Close In
one hundred and one. Lazy, Fat Dragons To Go On Crash Diet In Zoo
102. Weber’s international devotionals: Mount Joy minister encourages hurting humans through the World Wide Web
103. El Nino Blamed for Rising in Diarrhea in Peru
104. Your Chance to Spend More Time in Public Toilets
one hundred and five. Greek Bars Close Early In Protest At Early Closure
106. Oscar Proves God Is A Mexican
107. Hooked on the Internet? Help Is Just a Click Away
108. Lack Of Brains Hinders Research
109. Blue Skies Unless It’s Cloudy
a hundred and ten. We All Hope And Pray For Peach In Northern Ireland
111. Doggie Perfume Sets Tails Wagging
112. Ducks Banned From Duck Pond
113. You Want To Be Buried at the Moon?
114. Wanted: Suitable Position for Disoriented Indian Maharaja

Along with getting a few message across, these truly gave the target market a smile on their faces.



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About the Author: Todd R. Brain